


I nearly lost you

by fangirl2013



Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: Depressing, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Trigger warning - consequences of a suicide attempt, my therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 18:04:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl2013/pseuds/fangirl2013
Summary: Anne Neville becomes desperate. So desperate, she believes there's no other way out...





	I nearly lost you

**Author's Note:**

> So, last year, I struggled majorly with depression and attempted to kill myself. This was sort of my therapy.

His arms wrapped around her and slowly, she slumped into him, her head burying into his chest. The desire to cry filled her to her core. Her eyes were unbearably dry, much to her annoyance. She wanted to give in to her hurt. She wanted to sob until she no longer felt so wretched. She wanted to cry herself to sleep as she had done so many nights before. Unconsciousness would be better than dealing with Richard. How could she explain what she had done? How could she make him understand?

"I nearly lost you." His voice was quiet, almost too quiet but it was the hurt Anne noticed. She couldn't help but think it had been her who had caused that. It had been her who had tried to take her life. Almost immediately, the thought of succeeding entered her head. She wouldn't have needed to face him and he would have gotten over losing her, after all. The thought of him getting over her so easily pained her. In fact, it tortured her yet he would have needed to. He wouldn't have stayed devoted to a dead lady, her brain unhelpfully pointed out.

Finally, she began to cry. Her thoughts, like many times before, hurting her badly. Giving in her tears, her tiredness swamped her. The desire to give up her fight hitting her like a tonne of bricks. Her brain was relentless. It never gave her a moment's peace. More often than not and more than she wished, Anne's day would end in her breaking down. Pretending to be okay had been exhausting and as the days went on, it became harder and harder.

She'd wanted to pour her heart out to the man she'd loved for so long. She wanted to let him know just how hopeless she felt. She wanted to let him in completely. Her words always failed her when she had needed them. How could she make him understand when she didn't understand herself? She had the man of her dreams. She had the man she adored with every inch of her screwed up being. She would always adore him. Why did she feel so empty and unloved all of the time? He made her feel loved. He cherished her. Why did she feel this way? It was her. It must be her fault, her brain told her. She needed to do the best thing for him. She needed to die.

Her tears intensified, the desire to push him away filling her. She almost couldn't bring herself to be near him. She didn't deserve his comfort. She didn't deserve to be close to him. Her tears blinded her as she pushed him away, her heart breaking in her chest. Her actions hurt him. They confused him and it was clear for her to see.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's so sad x


End file.
